Five Questions to Ask before Divorce

Ending your marriage is never an easy decision, but for some, it is the only option. If your spouse has injured you physically or betrayed you in a way from which you will never recover, staying in the marriage causes more harm than ending it.

However, the reasons for divorcing are not always so cut-and-dry. For many, their decision is based more on how they feel, as opposed to a specific thing their spouse has done. If you feel your marriage is lacking in some essential element you need in order to continue the marriage, you might be considering divorce. Reflecting on how you feel and what is best for your family now and in the future can help you make the final decision whether or not to end your marriage. These five questions can help you decide.

1. How have you felt recently… about your spouse, ending your marriage, splitting up your family, and committing to a new life?

You might have spent the last several weeks, months, or even years thinking about your feelings and how you want to act on those feelings, but if you have not now is the time to do so. It might help to write down some of the thoughts you have about your spouse and your family.

2. Do you and your spouse share the same core values? Do you have similar goals?

Hopefully, couples will discuss their goals and values prior to marriage, and decide to marry based on those shared aspects of their lives. Unfortunately, many couples fail to have these discussions before marrying. Even when they do, people change and move in different directions. If you and your spouse are no longer “on the same page,” divorce might be your best option.

3. Have you sacrificed yourself to accommodate your spouse?

Many people in a marriage sometimes feel as if they have lost their own sense of self. They might be happy at first meeting their spouse’s needs, but over time it drains them and they begin to feel resentful. It might be a good idea to seek counseling if you are dealing with feelings of resentment. However, if your spouse is unwilling to change or see your point of view, your marriage might be drawing to a close.

4. Do you still want to be married? Did you ever?

Sometimes people enter into a marriage because they feel it is expected of them. Marrying, buying a home, having children… all of these things are viewed as “normal” by today’s societal standards. Regardless how others view the decision to marry, you need to decide if you want to be part of a legally-bound couple. If marrying was a mistake and you will never be happy sharing your life with someone, or you have changed and no longer feel marriage is right for you, it might be time for some self-reflection.

5. Have you prepared your family for divorce?

Divorce is difficult for every member of a family. If you feel you are headed toward divorce, it is important to not just spring your decision on your spouse or children. Dealing with the decision to split a family is something that should be done together, as much as possible. If it means putting aside resentment and hostility between you and your partner to help your children with the transition, do the best you can.

Are you considering divorce? Has your marriage changed or are you faced with an unexpected situation that has you thinking about bringing it to an end? If you would like to speak to someone about the legal aspects of divorce or you are ready to move forward with your ending your marriage, contact Michele Cline to schedule a consultation.